Gritty Thoughts With Richard

Recently our owner Richard was asked the following question about the new FDA Mandate:

 

"All normal drinkwear is now federally banned. No mug, no pint glasses, no plastic cups...nothing. What is Gritty's switching to and why?"

 

Below you can find Richard's response. Enjoy!

 

In an effort to eliminate the COVID, the U.S. FDA has mandated that all packaging and serving vessels are banned from use in the public service of American craft beers.  While we at Gritty's take all things COVID related very seriously, we believe that this act of Federal overreach is beyond  any reasonable safety measures, even during this very trying time in our great nation.  However, we do believe that there will be tremendous benefits to our world by eliminating the glass, plastic and metal containers used in our industry, as we all band together to address the very real issues of the day that are threatening the very existence of the human species.  Quite clearly, I am referring to the real risk of climate change.

 

As our political leaders have been fully locked on solving the current crisis, which is the Pandemic, our world has gotten hotter and hotter, to the point of climate catastrophe.  We at Gritty's will embrace the push to beverage vessel elimination, leading the way in a drinking revolution.  Henceforth, all of our drinkware and beer containers will be 100% natural, reusable and recyclable.  We will use no fossil fuels in the production of our containers, other than in the shipping and transportation of such, which we hope to reduce as our program develops.  

 

The following is a list of the changes that we will implement:

 

  1. Instead of the standard Libby 1634  Pint glass, the staple of bars for 40 years, our pints will now be served in gourds, which will be grown by local farmers.  Of course, this will take several years to get the farmers up to levels of production to sustain our one pint one gourd system that will be required during the COVID.  There will be no reuse of gourds.
  2. Our New England IPAs will really shine being served in a half grapefruit rind.  The citrus flavors will come through and pull the Citra and Cascade hops to the forefront of the palate.  Half pints will be served in orange halves.
  3. Beer flights will now take on a very local, Maine flavor, as we will serve them in the finest Quahog shells available.  With climate change, we don't anticipate a supply problem for these shells, as the storms should kick up plenty of Quahogs on Scarborough beach.  While we will clean the shells prior to service, we expect that the salty brine will really add to the experience.
  4. During COVID, our customers have really gotten used to buying and refilling our Growlers to take our fine beers home with them.  We believe that we have solved the elimination of the Growler problem.  From now on, beer to go will be sold in hollowed out watermelon shells.  Watermelon provides a very complimentary flavor to our beers, particularly Pub Style pale ale, Vacationland Summer Ale, and our lighter bodied brews.  We have developed a special plug, a cucumber, that has proven to hold the carbonation levels for at least two days, but we definitely recommend that a watermelon be consumed in no more than three days.

As we all journey through these dark, dreary days of COVID, it is important to be supportive of others.  It is important to respect the fears and concerns of others.  It is important to work together to get through these times and get to the other side.  A little humor, patience, perseverance and beer will get us to the end of this pandemic in style.  We may even save the world as we travel on.

 

Keep ME Gritty!

 

Cheers!